Andròn: The Black Labyrinth (2015) Reviews

• For the love of god,PLEASE make it stop

  don-152272016-06-03

  I don't know if this is the absolute worst movie that I've ever seen but it is certainly a contender. Believe me, it's not a movie that's so bad that it's good . . it's just BAD. It's a vampire that sucks up an hour and forty minutes of your time that could have been spent on something more entertaining, like hammering No.2 pencils into your corneas. This movie does not suspend disbelief, it celebrates it. My impression was that everyone involved just wanted to get the thing in the "done" column so they could go do something (anything) else. It seems that no effort was spent on trying to immerse the viewer so it was torture seeing it through to the end as a detached observer rather than being drawn in to a subjective, personal experience. They just didn't make me care a bit about any of the characters', it would have been more interesting and more dramatic watching insects fly around one of those bug zappers. The only award this stinker deserves is a felony conviction for impersonating entertainment.

• Pointless & a waste of my hour and half

  defmuse2016-06-18

  The Score: unoriginal, regurgitated, and outdated. A few of the pieces sounded like they were lifted off the Mortal Kombat soundtrack. The Acting: horrendous... it's so bad that characters who are supposed to be dead, are clearly seen breathing on film. The dialogue: worse. There are lines that are completely redundant... like they've been thrown in there due to lack of anything coherent by the writers. The saddest part: Skin is terrible. I cringed every time she tried to "act." I don't know why, but she kept sounding like she was reading her dialogue to kindergarteners. I want to give this movie a higher rating due to Baldwin & Glover being involved, but they don't add even a percentage of class or relief to this movie.

• Trivia sums it up "shot in 21 days"

  jackmeat2016-08-18

  My quick rating - 3,2/10. Well, not the WORST movie I have ever seen, but pretty awful. A group of really bad actors I mean, slaves, are put in some dungeon and must fight there way out.They call it a maze yet always seem to know where things are. Anyway, the group faces a madman (Alec Baldwin, who must've lost a bet and dragged Danny Glover into this mess) that is trying to eliminate their spirit for a game show? I think I have it right. Hard to tell but for some reason the "bad guys" who can shoot lightning from their hands and morph their bodies tend to resort to fist fighting for no apparent reason. Of course, a couple of the detainees are poor martial artists, but that goes without saying (or they are good martial artists who are choreographed so poorly that their sensai will be furious this was ever filmed). I really don't know if their is much redeeming about this movie and if I didn't use gut instinct on my rating, reflecting as I type this, I almost want to knock it down even lower. Don't bother since there are plenty of decent to good movies out there waiting for you.

• This is a first, for me..

  skinn682016-08-25

  This movie is SO bad, that it needs to get some kind of recognition with at least a short review. In my life I've seen many, many bad movies, but believe me, even in the worst cases I would always find a reason to finish it...maybe a bit of curiosity, or just to see HOW low it could go, or by just telling myself that if I had already wasted one hour of my life, why not making it one and a half and see if there was a remote chance it got (dare I say it?) 'better'? But this one was just too much, I stopped it 40 minutes in and never turned back. For some reason, I had not checked IMDb's ratings before, but I certainly did after, and it's funny to realize that I have now spent more time on the film's page on IMDb than watching the movie itself. Yes, it's THAT bad.

• Terrible writing, bad acting, unoriginal theme

  missionary-567712016-06-15

  ***THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS*** While I agree with a previous reviewer that the acting in this movie was terrible, I have to say that quite frankly, it really didn't matter. The best acting in the world can't make a badly written script suddenly become good. And a badly written script can make an otherwise great actor look REALLY BAD. ***SPOILERS FOLLOW FROM HERE*** So the theme here is that the world is badly over-populated and can't sustain the full population. Nearly everyone on the planet is a slave, with a small handful of people running things who are not. Let's pause right there and consider the logic behind this for a moment. If there are SO MANY people on the planet that losing 9 BILLION from the population doesn't even put a dent in the population crisis, and nearly all of those alive are slaves who hate the way they're forced to live, that's EASILY enough to start a rebellion and overthrow the small number who are making their lives miserable. But let's suspend our disbelief and put that logic aside for the moment. If that many people are unable to overthrow the elite few, then those elite few must have some REALLY SICK advanced technology, right? OK, so if they have that kind of tech (which is clearly the case judging by the massive flying ships near and at the end of the movie), why the heck haven't they left the planet and colonized the Moon, Mars, or just plain built massive space stations complete with colossal hydroponic farms to accommodate all those people? I mean, with that many billions of slaves, it wouldn't take long at all. And you can't say there aren't enough mineral resources to accomplish it, since they clearly have enough tech to mine asteroids, the moon, or other planets, not to mention cannibalizing and recycling outdated tech for its materials. So what's their answer to over-population instead? ***insert fake sarcastic tone*** Let's create a game that kills off 90% of the people who bet on it. I mean, we're insanely greedy, megalomaniacs, so if we have too many slaves to support everyone, it's probably best to just kill off a few billion of them rather than using that man-power to expand our power and wealth, right? ***end sarcasm*** I really wonder if the writers ever bothered to stop and think about the logic behind this script (or lack thereof). Combine the bad writing with a juxtaposition against other movies with similar themes (Hunger Games, Maze Runner series, Cube (not that I liked Cube all that much, but even THAT had better writing and more of a point than THIS movie)) and this movie totally bombs, which is a huge understatement. This movie is comparable to a 2-year old with a toy steering wheel on their lap, sitting next to mom or dad in the car and believing that driving with their toy is comparable to what the parent is doing with the real car. The simple fact that I've even taken the time to write this review is an OVERWHELMING testament to how bad this movie was. Seriously. I have never written a movie review before, even though I've seen some truly horrible movies. But this one was so bad, I actually created an IMDb account for the first time ever for the sole purpose of writing this review so I could let people know how horrible the movie was. It really was THAT BAD! Taking the time to write this review was a FAR better use of my time than actually watching the movie.