Gangsters Gamblers Geezers (2016) Reviews

• God Awful. Tragic. Amateur.

  blayzer_trayl2016-10-01

  This film must have been created on a whim where the main protagonist 'Amar Adatia' simply had a school boy vision that he'd make a movie one day. And this is what he made the minute he got a chance to shut up his 'haters'. The movie - if i can even call it that - looks like something they quickly rustled up. Rustled in the way the duo in this very story are trying to put together a get rich quick scheme: haplessly and abysmally. All of it seems to be various comedy skits stitched together to try and make a movie. Rehashing of scenes they saw in other movies they thought to replicate and just shove in this sad excuse of a plot. Not a part of it is funny. All of it cliché. Seems like the entire cast (of which there are some familiar B/C- list celeb faces from the UK) came on board as a favour to Adatia. Either that or he bribed them. Which may account for the alleged £1.8 million budget this movie professes to have spent. Where else did the money go? i cannot tell - certainly wasn't on production value. The movie looks like something that could have been filmed on a top end mobile phone. In fact it seems like it was an experiment that was done on that a basis. I cannot believe anybody involved in this film would think it anymore than an experimental laugh at creating an amateur home video. Something for them to just privately snigger at. One that they done on a whim one week when feeling bored and nobody took it seriously. I think the crew who made this need to start at the basics of film making. Start off making 5 minute music videos. Progress onto making made-for-TV or internet programmes. And then perhaps progress onto short films and then full features. Clearly the crew here hasn't learned their craft yet. I suppose they see this as a stepping stone to bigger better movies in future. But there was no redeeming talent here for anyone to think these are directors / actors we should look out for in the future. This movie is an absolute dead entity. Should be looked at as nothing more than an experiment to see if they could make a coherent movie. With this creation they at least now say: They cant!

• Appalling acting, direction and story-line

  arranmiles2016-09-26

  Viewed at a free screening and I felt ripped off.Infantile teen comedy knock off of Snatch & Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels. Written as a vehicle for forgotten about and wannabe "celebrities" with little to no acting experience and it shows.The badly cast caricature gangster theme is ridiculous to the nth degree,the villains attempting to be menacing but never quite managing to carry it off. I found some amusement from the gypsy gang but no doubt the stereotypical portrayal will be viewed as racist rather than funny by the traveling community. Professional fantasist Dave Courtney's performance as Terry is strangely unconvincing, I say strangely as he has been pretending to be a gangster for 25 years and still cant pull it off. If this truly had a budget of £1.8 million a cannot see where it was spent and feel for the investors. I cannot work out the target audience. primary school humour with a level of violence and offensive dialogue which precludes primary school kids from watching. I also feel compelled to warn others not to waste their time on this.

• Directionless humourless pointless

  arranmiles-828392016-10-02

  I have watched some rubbish in my time but this tops the list . Am I missing something? or is there real villainy afoot? Today the IMDb star rating for this garbage is 8.3, putting it on par with Reservoir Dogs and Snatch, It is not! This is so bad i feel i must review it to protect future viewers from being tricked into watching such a "film".It is a crime caper in the sense that it should be declared a crime against the British film industry. Low budget dross with poor production values and a script delivered as though it is being read from auto-cue by people that struggle to read, This "comedy" is childish and devoid of humor, the biggest joke being that this film ever secured any investment. The acting is shockingly bad, but i guess that was always it's destiny being that the cast is made up of z list "celebrities" and friends without real acting backgrounds. Richard Blackwood plays Olu and attempts to supply laughs by spending the whole film screaming "give me my money" in inconsistent accents, stick to stand up. Dave Courtney provides the usual hammy overacted menace expected from this self fabricated wannabe gangland figure, leaving you pondering as to why the main characters ,stoners, Lee and Krish even care that these guys think they are threatening them( i didn't care what would happen). Jodie marsh's input is to flex her dysmorphic body. Big Narstie (Terry's minder, topless throughout!)this role is just to look fat and ridiculous, the wrestler Tiny iron can only be there to ensure his fans buy the DVD and vote on IMDb (as is the case for most of the cast). As you would expect the fit girls are involved as eye candy for teens, and to facilitate sexist gags.The plot borrows heavily from better films, despite the plagiarism is directionless, laugh- less, pointless, busy yet bitty, sexist, offensive and at times racist, and you cant help wondering if what was left on the cutting room floor, through even worse acting, would have made the plot make sense. Save your money this is one to avoid!

• Words cannot express....

  laedawson2017-11-25

  ...how utterly terrible this is. The two 'stars' of this parade of juvenile, incoherent excrement also wrote and directed it, oh, and they co-produced it too. Of course this wasn't some sort of vanity project. When they were sat, probably blind drunk, in the living room of the shared house that they live in they obviously thought that this was hilarious. They were wrong. They managed to get Dave Courtney, Richard Blackwood, Jodie Marsh and that one out of Atomic Kitten (who isn't Kerry Katona) to star in it, but most of them would go to the opening of a crisp packet nowadays. Other than that (if that wasn't bad enough) not a single moment of this works on any level. It's an attempt to crowbar in as many scenes which feature large breasts being flashed at the very unattractive 'lead actors', it makes no sense, there are fart noises on the sound track at one point and there is a scene which features a phone being dropped in to a toilet which went on for several weeks, or at least seemed to. Watch this if only to make you realise that some people have way too much confidence in their own abilities. YOU could write a better screenplay, seriously, you really could.

• Entertaining, A bit Funny, Worth the watch

  mscant162016-09-25

  It's not bad movie, it has it defects simply looks cheap.. But overall a good movie very entertaining, witty, and a bit funny. I wouldn't say its on the level of a Sean Penn film... For the indie film market it does seem to have its shining points. Actors were decent like a UK version of Harold & Kumar I would say. Definitely worth a watch if you don't mind stepping out of the box and giving something new a chance. Worth a Viewing at least if your home and netflix has gotten to it's extent then taking a chance on this film won't be a disappointment. I enjoyed the versatility and plot of the film. It seemed that they maybe new with some characters that even appeared in other indie films from the uk region. I really liked the irish men even thou when they started talking fast I had no idea what they were saying lol. Haven't seen anything new in awhile check out Gangsters Gamblers And Geezers