Steel (1997) Reviews

• "Well, I'll be dipped in s*** and rolled in breadcrumbs"

  The_Movie_Cat2000-08-28

  Steel is one of those films where you constantly have to keep telling yourself "this is NOT a TV movie". A cheap, outrageously bad superhero vehicle for the acting... er... talents?... of 7'1 basketball player Shaquille O'Neal. Commendably, the film does actually have three clear acts, and Steel's emergence, though underplayed, doesn't happen for over forty minutes. In-jokes are a-plenty, as it mentions Batman, Superman, Jerry Maguire ("show me the money!") and three instances of John Irons (O'Neal) having to net basketballs. The final time sees a life-threatening toss of a grenade. A lousy basketball player throughout, Shaq gets to quip "I never make these". Or would you prefer Richard Roundtree as Uncle Joe, who designs Steel's hammer for him? "I did the metalwork," he explains, "I especially like the shaft." Cue lots of double-takes and knowing glances, with Roundtree looking round, hands in the air, proclaiming "what?" The special effects are reasonable for tv movie land, but, as this is (pinch me, I must be imagining it) a real cinema movie, they're quite cheap. Steel is badly written, contains atrocious dialogue, is poorly acted, shabbily directed and with an overbearing, repetitive musical score. It is, of course, tremendously entertaining.

• so bad it's good

  miguelsanchez692004-03-17

  This is a B-movie classic. The special effects are awful and the acting is worse, but at least it's not boring. As a cinematic experience, it's below par, but as entertainment it's top notch. It's basically like a B-movie, unintentionally hysterical version of Superman (which makes sense, since apparently Steel is based on a DC comic series which was an offshoot of the Superman Funeral for a friend storyline) , except Steel's only discernible superpowers are: being tall, having a metal suit that makes him walk slowly, and uttering unfunny catch phrases that are so bad you have to bust out laughing. This movie is probably the funniest thing I've seen all year. Of course, it's not intended to be funny most of the time when it is. Watching Shaq "act" is the highlight of the film. I fell out of my chair laughing every time he said something. Shaq's still a better actor than Hulk Hogan though, not that that's saying much. They should give Shaq more movies. Hulk Hogan made a dozen or more, and they were all awful, why not Shaq? The special effects look like they were made in the 1980s. Bad miniatures and Superman-esque laser effects look pretty silly in this day and age. This adds to the fun factor of the movie though since you'll probably scream "Dear Lord that laser is the same miniature they used in Godzilla in the 60s!". The plot to the movie isn't horrible, even though it's pretty thin. Basically Steel is a superhero with a secret identity out to save the world from an evil supervillain. Pretty standard superhero fare. This movie has earned its place in my heart alongside other bad movie classics like "cool as ice" starring vanilla ice. A must-see for bad movie buffs. Some folks who like superhero films might like it too since it's mildly diverting and quick-paced. Those who relish quality cinematic experiences should avoid.

• Stinks

  utgard142014-07-18

  Garbage superhero movie based on the Superman spin-off character, Steel. One of the all-time bad comic book movies. Shaquille O'Neal is terrible, delivering lines like he's reading a menu. The armor his character wears is ludicrous and cheap. His sidekick is a woman in a wheelchair named Sparky, played by Annabeth Gish. Poor Annabeth tries but the material she's given is dreadful. Judd Nelson gives a self-consciously bad performance as the villain Burke. He knows he's in trash and doesn't even try to make the material work. In many scenes he's clearly suppressing laughter at the terrible lines he's given. It may not be professional behavior but I can hardly blame the guy. Collect that paycheck, Bender. Despite taking place in 1997, the police are driving cars that look like they're from the early '80s. Just another sign of the shoddy production, I guess. The whole thing looks cheap like it was produced by the dollar store. I suppose there is some unintended comic value of the "so bad it's good" variety. But mostly it just stinks.

• I don't know whether to laugh or cry

  Rammstein-22001-01-02

  Oh man, I don't believe this. Perhaps with the exception of "Barb Wire", I don't think I have watched anything that comes anywhere near this. When I come to think of it, "Barb Wire" is actually better than this, because I could laugh while watching it. This film is so bad it reaches a certain quality of lousiness only reserved for the very worst of bad ideas. I mean - Shaquille O'Niell in a steel suit with a super weapon made from the contents of a lost-and-found at the scrap yard? Please!

• Sure, the acting is bad

  btapplegate2004-03-26

  Sure, the acting is bad, the special effects are amaturish, the direction incompetent, the story sadly changed from the comic book, and the screenwriting lame, lame, lame, but the casting is interesting in a drug induced sort of way. I was hoping that this would be one of those "it's so bad, it's funny" movies", but it was just bad. Please don't watch this fiasco, it will just steal precious moments from your life you can never get back. I beg of you, your brain cells beg of you, just say no. Shaquille O'Neil should be legally barred from acting. Annabeth Gish should be ashamed, Judd Nelson couldn't possibly sink any lower, and poor Richard Roundtree, how the mighty have fallen. I hope the next time I see Shaft, I don't remember seeing this waste of time.