The Invisibles (1999) Reviews

• Delightful talky romp of druggie artists

  mkham62005-06-04

  Portia de Rossi reveals herself as not just beautiful, with those long blonde tresses- but beautiful-happy as a entrancing flaky model in this Paris apartment-bound clever relationship movie between her and a heroin addicted famous musician, and a noble pizza guy who takes ivory chess pieces as payment. I haven't seen that much from her, besides Ally McBeal and Arrested Development, where she never has enough time, but she really shows the radiant shine behind in her smile in between tearful admissions and hot monkey love. Michael Goorjian is no slouch as the smart talky rock star hiding from fame in an apartment without food, money, or drink. This is a fun and cute movie, despite the drugs, with lively and witty banter of jet setters who are actually real and interesting people. Only thing, I hated the black and white, because I wanted to see the lush colors in lush Portia.

• I wish this actual film were invisible so no one could ever see it

  MBunge2010-08-02

  There's an old saying that if you had a room with an infinite number of monkeys typing away on an infinite number of typewriters for an infinite amount of time, they'd eventually produced the completed works of William Shakespeare. Well, if you put three monkeys in a room for a weekend with a typewriter and a jug of apricot wine, they'd probably come up with something like The Invisibles. This feeble, tiresome, black-and-white film is lamer than Tiny Tim (the Dickens' character, not the ukulele-playing oddball), more aimless than Dick Cheney with a shotgun and about as sharp as a wet noodle. It concerns a rock star named Jude (Michael Goorjian) and a model named Joy (Portia de Rossi), two drug addicts who hold up in Joy's loft apartment in France. They lounge around, have sex, eat pizza, go on and off drugs and talk and talk and talk until you start hoping that one of them bursts into flame and dies in screaming agony. It's supposed to be a journey of discovery, where two people who are envied by so many are revealed to be living lives of quiet desperation. It's actually a turgid 89 minutes of writer/director Noah Stern demonstrating that he's not nearly as clever as he thinks he is. The least annoying thing about The Invisibles is the work of the two leads. Portia de Rossi is a young actress with talent who's hamstrung by an awful script. She also needs to either stop dying her hair blonde or pluck her Groucho Marx-like eyebrows. They're as distracting as having a second nose growing out of her left cheek. Michael Goorjian is a young actor who doesn't seem to have much talent. He's not terrible but whether he's trying to be angry, sad, ironic or sardonic, he always looks like a nice Jewish boy putting on a show for his grandma. The only other character of note is the pizza guy who becomes Joy and Jude's link to the outside world. He's played by Terry Camilleri, who affects a French accent so horribly you can only hope he's doing it badly on purpose. The writing is tedium interrupted by stupid cinematic contrivances. The direction would get a B+ in film school. The movie is made even more of a chore to sit through by a stream of bad and frequently loud music flowing through the scenes. Sometimes the music is a torrent, sometimes it's a trickle but it's always crappy. The Invisibles does have one moment of mild amusement revolving around sexual attraction toward cartoon characters. That is the only ripple of entertainment in a swamp of dialog where floats ill-considered pop culture references, boring personal sagas, self-involved ruminations and too many moments that try too hard to be smart. Since Portia De Rossi doesn't get naked in it, I can say this movie is pretty much without any redeeming value whatsoever. It's not good enough to be art. It's not trashy enough to be fun. It doesn't deserve your time.

• My Face Hurts From Laughing So Much

  xxmrsqueenxx-92-1579652015-05-19

  This movie was surprisingly fresh and something I am glad I had the opportunity of viewing. It was funny, serious and such a sweet love story. It's a black and white artsy type film, but don't let that fool you, this movie is good, really good. The acting was great and the lines were delivered perfectly. I smiled and laughed so much. I cried too. I really love this movie and I am glad I spent the money to buy it. I thought that the story line (plot) was really fun and well thought out. If you like black and white artsy movies then do yourself a favor and pick this one up. My face still hurts from laughing. The movie was nothing like I assumed it would be from what people wrote on here.

• You've seen this before, but probably not done this well.

  windowphobe2003-12-26

  I don't know any models or rock stars, or even junkies, but I know people who have to wrestle with the very issues that haunt both Jude and Joy, and it's that familiarity that makes this little film, to me anyway, more believable than its slightly-too-smartassed dialogue would ordinarily allow. Every stereotype you've ever heard about the runway or the stage gets aired, but the script uses them as guideposts rather than as plot points, which makes the task of getting to know these not-so-charismatic characters easier. The relationship between the two is tentative and brittle, and the B&W cinematography adds just enough grain to make that brittleness stand out. A couple of things don't quite ring true - Portia de Rossi's eyebrows come across like Groucho's greasepaint mustache on a bender, and the loft where 98 percent of the film takes place never seems particularly Parisian - but in the easily-reviled realm of Rich Kids Suddenly Forced To Grow Up films, this is one of the few I've found worth remembering.

• Excellent movie!!!

  aurolynsm2000-04-03

  This movie was so awesome. Noah Stern is a great director. Portia de Rossi and Michael Goorjian were wonderful. The movie shows human nature like it really is - how you would go from casually talking about one topic to delving into your past and end up crying about it. It's very funny at one moment and quite touching the next. I absolutely loved it.