Tomb Invader (2018) Reviews

• "I'm a writer from the paper"

  freqeteq2018-03-15

  The heading for this review is an actual line from the movie, it's how a reporter introduces themselves before asking someone for an interview, "I'm a writer from the paper", brilliant, just brilliant. This movie is from The Asylum and if you haven't heard of The Asylum they make knockoffs of big budget movies using as little money as possible, when Transformers came out they released Transmorphers, when Pacific Rim was released they released Atlantic Rim, and now with the release of Tomb Raider we have Tomb Invader. All the usual suspects that you'd expect from an Asylum production are present in this movie, a cast of nobodies who can't act, cgi that would have looked bad in the 90's, terrible directing and a lousy script, it's just your typical terribly bad Asylum film.

• Far from badass

  TheLittleSongbird2018-05-02

  Have made no secret in the past of intensely disliking, and even outright hating a lot, a vast majority of The Asylum's (near-universally maligned for good reason) output, though there is curiosity as to whether they are capable of making something good and compulsive about their output's badness. Admittedly, The Asylum do have a small group of watchable films and the occasional (big emphasis on that word) above average one, unfortunately outweighed by the lacklustre at best and often dreadful films they churn out. 'Tomb Invader' is not one of The Asylum's all time worst, they've definitely done worse that have been more amateurish and insulted the intelligence more. With that being said, even when taking it for what it was, and from watching other films from The Asylum it is abundantly clear it shouldn't be taken seriously, it was a very poorly executed film, compensated only by the lead performances being reasonably competent. 'Tomb Invader' believe it or not is not a blatant rip off of 'Tomb Raider', instead it was made to capitalise on that film's release. Regardless of what people's stance is on 'Tomb Raider', despite the critical reception being fairly lukewarm, those who hated it will find themselves appreciating it after watching 'Tomb Invader'. 'Tomb Raider' was not a perfect film, far from it, and was not exactly great, but count me in as somebody who found it a quite entertaining watch. Visually, 'Tomb Invader' looks incredibly cheap even for something made on a low budget. It's very drably and sometimes dizzyingly shot, incoherently edited (bacon-slicer-like) with glaring and unforgivably sloppy continuity errors and even the scenery doesn't make much impression despite being actually the least bad aspect of the film. There are worse special effects in other Asylum films, they still look very cheap though and like they were an afterthought and made in haste. Am aware of the film being low-budget, but there are examples of low-budget films that still don't look awful and manage to be pretty good. Can remember little about the music, which tended to be intrusive, annoying and out of place. The script makes little sense, sounds awkward constantly and on the wrong side of camp throughout. There is absolutely nothing thrilling, tense, suspenseful, emotionally investable or fun about the story. The predictability may have been forgivable if the film was actually engaging let alone exciting but it fails to be either throughout. 'Tomb Invader' is basically non-stop dullness, and intelligence-insulting ridiculousness, with unintentional humour because of the excessive cheese, numerous illogical moments, bouts of mawkish drama (couldn't get behind the whole derivative and over-sentimental mother gone missing stuff) and irritating character behaviours that makes one endear to them even less in a film with not one interesting or rootable character. Although there are worse-acted The Asylum films, the acting generally is not good at all. Actually the leads are not bad, and the reason why 'Tomb Invader' hasn't been rated a 1, particularly Gina Vitori. The supporting cast however all round are shambolic, with lots of over-compensating and an equal amount of sleepwalking, and one of the film's biggest failures. The direction is not worth mentioning, due to being a large part of the film's failure. Overall, very poor and far from badass. 2/10 Bethany Cox

• For those not accustomed to the B-movie/Asylum Films aesthetic, better skip this one.

  aarosedi2018-05-31

  An archaeologist, Alabama Channing, continues her mother's quest to find a mythical relic in an ancient Chinese tomb. For a movie trying to capitalize on the popularity of a recent Hollywood output, Tomb Raider, it can pride itself in having a way more decent-looking profession listed on the lead character's CV, having Gina Vittori playing as Ally, a uni professor as opposed to Alicia Vikander's Lara Croft being a bike courier. But the ethics surrounding the activities of an artifact poacher is topic for a more enlightened film to tackle and thus prevents this one from being such a progressive female role model for girls. And to add to that, being an action flick with a female lead character written and directed by men, don't be surprised with the male-gaze, of the PG-kind. And, yes, what is a kick-ass chick flick without a male co-star, the sort that's not necessarily a love interest, just an eye-candy for the girls to swoon over. Nathan (Andrew Katers), who is kind of a stand-in for Milo Ventimiglia during his stint as Jess Mariano in the Gilmore Girls if you have managed to down two shots of vodka, that is, and sort of on the sleazy side, the character, that is. He's the drop-dead-gorg guy that's not necessarily action movie material, because to be fair, the script doesn't really call for one that sort that's in the tradition of let's say, pre-Bond stardom Daniel Craig or pre-300 Gerhard Butler in Angelina Jolie's Tom Radier. He actually looks like James Franco to me (with my beer goggles on). That, of course, I don't mean as an insult. The guy is just so cuuuuuuuuuute. Decent performances from the actors, each and every one of them. The script is not that exciting or humorous but adequate enough to get you through to the end. The same goes for the action sequences, the big-bad creature that Ally gets to fight in the final action sequence who is just as big as Daniel Craig. The film sets, just like everything else, all are keeping with the rep that Asylum films have already established. So, this film is kind of okay for me, and I can honestly say that because where I came from, I have seen way worse entertainment output, crapola captured on celluloid (using not-so-cheap film stock, mind you) that people have passed off as a freaking blockbuster. That's why for a guy like me it's easy for me to forgive this movie's shortcomings (and I don't call it that, more of B-movie aesthetic). So this movie, I consider, is not on the bottom tier of global cinema. It's only when people start to compare this one to the likes of a finely-crafted Hollywood blockbuster would these movies start to suck big time. A sneer-fest, that would be. So turning that comparison switch off and enjoying it the way it is intended to be, chillax time at home, PG-rated, no swearing, nothing risque, wholesome. If kids were accidentally left to watch this unattended, not much to worry about. Just like a butter knife left lying around the house, a blunt knife that a kid can properly use without much supervision. The hazard only comes once a kid starts to use that blunt object to poke their own eyes or somebody else's, then that when things start to get hairy, blah-blah-blah... (digressing now) so... ...my rating: C-minus.

• It's Asylum people!

  Snootz2018-03-16

  Anyone who watches an Asylum film expecting anything more than absolute schlock (the un-funny kind) really has been hiding under a rock for the past 20 years. Tomb Invader doesn't disappoint when it comes to low-budget, poorly-scripted, minimally-produced Asylum footage. It's surprisingly not the worst of their films. It's almost halfway nearly decent. The script is terrible, but the acting isn't bad (in fact Samantha Bowling does an unexpectedly good job of it). The CGI is awful and the running around endless caverns is ridiculously time-wasting. The jokes fall as flat as a body that's been stone-rolled, and the ending is as un-brilliant as ever. But it's not actually "Asylum" bad... which is unexpectedly not absolutely terrible. It is a waste of time and has no redeeming factors, but it's not dead skunk. Better than most Asylum films, but It's still a "watch when you've got absolutely nothing better to do" brain-veg film.

• Gina Vitori shines in mediocre Asylum mockbuster

  filmideewana2018-03-14

  We all know that The Asylum will waste no opportunity to create a mockbuster for an upcoming action/adventure film, and Tomb Invader is no different. Debuting a week before the release of the new Tomb Raider, this ripoff pits Alabama Channing, the film's titular treasure hunter, against a lame story, bad special effects and even worse supporting actors. However, these movies are obviously made on the cheap, so I think it's too harsh to use any production value shortcomings as criticisms against the film (unless you're new to The Asylum). Unfortunately the acting department is a whole other issue. As mentioned above, the supporting actors almost derail the entire thing, they could have been so much better, which would have allowed this title to work on a guilty pleasure level. Alas Alabama's two friends, Samantha and Bennie are both annoying and appear as if they walked off the set of a children's TV sitcom. Any sense of danger or tension is ruined because of their playfulness. Such a shame because the other actors are decent in their roles, especially Alabama herself, played with surprising spunk and determination by Gina Vitori. The plot is nothing amazing either but it was still entertaining nevertheless. Our heroes are recruited by a rich dude to find Chinese treasure. Most the time is spent walking around talking or grappling with some locals. Only the last half hour is reserved for any actual "invading" of tombs. There could easily have been more of an adventure element added at the end, as the booby traps employed were mediocre and in some instances downright pointless. There also wasn't much of an attempt to explain the significance of the treasure, this was sidelined in favour of the plotline revolving around Alabama's mother, who had been unsuccessful in acquiring the same treasure twenty years earlier. If you enjoy your light cheesy movies, then this will be perfect, but without any OTT violence or sex and nudity, that have helped other Asylum titles in the past, Tomb Invader will have limited interest.